I’ve got a very new and uncomfortable conundrum – how to break up with a client. Given how much time I’ve spent worrying about whether there’d be enough work, there’s a huge irony to this. And I think the conundrum is two-fold – it’s a debate about whether I actually want to go through with ending the contract and if I do get to that decision, how on earth do I do it? I’m incredibly nervous about doing it right so we end on good terms.
How did I end up here?
So it was quite accidental that I ended up with too much work – I took on a new client to fill the gap left by two contracts ending. But suddenly both of those contracts continued and I had more work than hours available. It was also an inability to turn work down when it was offered – yes, I knew it was going to be incredibly tight running all three contracts together but it was work, paid work, and from quite a prestigious charity.
While I thought it was only going to be a diary clash for a few weeks – it turned into four months. I hugely underestimated the knock on effects to my work/life balance, my stress levels, my sleep and my overall wellbeing. It’s been a big lesson in how freelancing can be just as stressful as employment if you let it.
What are my options?
My contact has recently talked about being involved in things coming up in another month or two’s time, and it flagged in my brain that there’s an expectation I’m staying. I realised I needed to make a decision relatively quickly about what I was doing, and have the conversation as soon as possible. My three main options are agreeing to more work together, using the existing contract’s renewal as a natural break or cutting it short.
Where’s my head at?
I know there’s the offer of further work with this charity, and I find that really hard to walk away from. I also worry they’ll be disappointed I’m not continuing, and my people-pleasing brain has a hard time dealing with that.
The bottom line though is I need to prioritise myself better. Talking it through with a colleague was really helpful – just recognising the impact by saying it out loud and giving myself some space to think what the ideal situation would be.
What next?
Treading water time-wise and comfort zone-wise is exhausting and I’ve done it long enough – I need to say goodbye. I’ve been surprised by the improvement I’ve felt just knowing that that decision is made. Already the balancing act feels a load easier to manage because there’s an end point. The fact that there’s a natural break, even if they didn’t expect me to use it, is an opportunity to have the conversation. With any luck their feedback stays strong and I can say goodbye as easily as possible and chalk this one up to another life lesson.
Photo by Marco Chilese on Unsplash