I wonder if everyone shares the same fear starting out – that the work suddenly dries up? That even if you’ve been successful for months, or even years, that at some point, some day, you face the abyss. With a mortgage payment looming, a nursery bill in your inbox and a red warning that your account is plunging south into the overdraft?
Rainy Day Fund
When I started out, I made myself a deal. I’d take on the first two contracts while I worked my notice period in employment, so I could bank a rainy day freelance fund. It was a huge help mentally to know I had (and still have) several months of my side of the life bills ready in case I’m suddenly without work. I’m lucky that I’ve had a really busy start to freelancing, securing work through a freelance network I’m part of and through existing contacts. However, none of it was long-term when it started, as is the nature of a lot of freelance roles. The longest contract I signed was 3 months, and that meant the end never felt very far away.
I quickly started to explore the best way to find new opportunities – through the freelance networks I’m involved in, through LinkedIn, through social media, through existing contacts and word of mouth. I began regular searches of key platforms to see what was coming up, and making sure I was ready when the right one for me appeared.
Just. Stop. Scrolling
There was a period around October when it became a bit of a religion. The constant, almost daily, checks of what was being listed as a way of reassuring myself that the world hadn’t suddenly stopped and there was still the possibility of more work. I’m now 6 months into freelancing as my sole job, 9 months in from the start of my first gig. And I’m not sure this has lessened much – that scarcity mindset. I’m feeling incredibly lucky to be booked up for the next three months, but I can feel the noise in the back of my mind getting louder almost each week, that nagging voice telling me that maybe this the point where it all stops. A kind of – it’s been fun, be grateful you got this far, but now its time to go back to employment.
Enough Work for Everyone?
It’s interesting that this doesn’t correlate with what I’ve seen. The number of opportunities listed across all those areas still feels plentiful, there doesn’t appear to be a shortage of things to do. Admittedly, not all of them are my kind of thing. But on the flip side, you could argue I’m also probably only seeing a small percentage of what is available, given all the different methods and platforms people use to advertise, let alone the organisations that try informal routes of connections, networks and word-of-mouth.
We’re all in it Together
It’s also something I know I’m not alone in. Across the freelance networks, scarcity mindset is something that comes up often, probably topping imposter syndrome for the major wobbles freelancers experience. Many say it took them years to settle into being confident that there is enough work. And interestingly, one of the last things my last boss said to me was that there is plenty of work out there, and instead the challenge was about under promising and overdelivering. That was his biggest learning curve and lesson to pass on from his time running his own business. It’s stuck with me, that advice, and I hope it’s something I’m managing to do in my work because he’s right, reputation is everything.
A “Real” Job
Scarcity mindset has stopped me or held me back from celebrating some of what I’ve done so far. Almost in fear that if I make too big a deal of what an amazing move this was, and how much it feels like a great fit, it’ll all end and I’ll have to eat a huge slice of humble pie and go get a “real job”. I’ve felt like I haven’t wanted to celebrate too soon. That I can’t look ahead or plan much because the future feels so unknown. While I’m not lying awake at night worrying about what comes next, I do find myself often saying “well, if I’m still freelancing next year…” The irony is the lack of a confident mindset may well hold me back from the very thing I want. There’s an interesting balance to be struck between a positive future mindset and the pragmatism of knowing that I’m so lucky to be in this, for however long I get to do it for (see? I did it again).
Scarcity mindset has also undoubtedly contributed to taking on too much work. It was almost inevitable, I know that. But it also doesn’t make the reality any less hard. Particularly with two small children taking up evenings and weekends so completely. There is a very real danger that that boss’s warning will come true if I don’t manage this balancing act carefully enough for the next few months – that in worrying about what was coming next, I overreached and won’t be able to deliver enough value now. There’s a big lesson in this level of discomfort.
What’s Next
Something I hope that will come out of this is a better ability to say no and/or be really selective in what I go for, to have the confidence to take stock of an opportunity and really decide whether it’s 100% something that feels a good fit and gets me excited. That’s really where I hope the future takes me, to a better understanding of what I want to offer and be able to chase and select the things that really fire me up to deliver great work. I’m already getting a sense of that, even this early on, of what’s really catching my attention, what I’m earmarking CPD for, areas I’m excited to develop into so I’m keen to see whether that pans out to be the case in a year from now. If I’m still freelancing, obviously.
Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash