Stephen R. Covey was pretty damning about people\u2019s ability to listen and listen well \u2013 his famous quote claimed \u201cmost people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.\u201d Is he right? This month I finally started my coaching qualification, something I\u2019ve been wanting to do for a while now and I was excited to get stuck into the course content. What I hadn\u2019t expected was such a strong focus in the first session on listening, and how tuned into my behaviour and others I was after.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not until a class demo on levels of listening that I really realised how easy and common it is to interrupt someone, whether you\u2019re just plain not listening in the first place, or just can\u2019t help but emphasise and share a story of your own\u2013 a quick \u201cme too.\u201d The shock of it didn\u2019t leave me for a few days and I looked at conversations for the rest of the week in a different light \u2013 clocking just how often we interrupt and dominate someone else\u2019s train of thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The difference between asking a question and asking a question and leaving proper space is huge. It can be so easy to feel uncomfortable with silence and break it by jumping in another question or your own insights. This one was more familiar to me as a facilitator but there were still times it challenged me. What I love is when you don\u2019t immediately jump in with a follow-up, it can unlock a second layer of information and insight you\u2019d never have access to if you haven\u2019t held the silence a little longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With all the practice sessions I\u2019m doing as part of the qualification, it made me realise how powerful just listening is, and how rarely it happens (properly) in a lot of our conversations. Having a whole 30 or 60 minutes dedicated to exploring a single issue can feel really intensive and we don\u2019t often carve out time in a busy world to stop and really think through a challenge from lots of angles, and having someone help you do that is invaluable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think my summary so far, which feels accidentally very profound, is that coaching feels a bit like an antidote to modern life \u2013 focused time without distractions, to walk with someone in exploring a challenge in their life with no ulterior motive, just the sole purpose of helping them to make progress. It\u2019s calm, quiet, explorative, sensitive, supportive and has the power to make someone feel heard and valued, and we could all do with more of that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Photo by\u00a0Harli Marten<\/a>\u00a0on\u00a0Unsplash<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Stephen R. Covey was pretty damning about people\u2019s ability to listen and listen well \u2013 his famous quote claimed \u201cmost people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.\u201d Is he right? This month I finally started my coaching qualification, something I\u2019ve been wanting to do…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":561,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[37],"tags":[13,11,12,21,25,10],"class_list":["post-560","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-development","tag-charity","tag-consultant","tag-freelance","tag-non-profit","tag-self-employment","tag-start-up-2"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t